June 2011
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4:14
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The 7 Layers of Division in Black America →
abagond.wordpress.com
There’s a great wish in the African American community for a wonderful utopia known as UNITY. The word brings about images of 70′s era movies where everyone picks their blow-out Afros, slaps high-fives and echoes “Right on!” in unison.
This reality was lived out by our parents but now the word has become pure fantasy. A fellow AA writer and myself discussed this unity thing and came up with 7 layers of division that keeps black unity a myth. This list may not be exclusive to blacks but it plagues us and keeps us separated in a major way.
The 7 Layers of Division in Black America:
Layer 1 – Bourgie vs. Ghetto
Middle/upper class vs. lower class for those confused by the derogatory terms. These two classes of people don’t necessarily hate one another but cannot coexist due to different outlooks and prejudice towards one another. So how would you go about unifying them?Layer 2 – American vs. Immigrant
African Americans’ “us versus them” mentality, the effort to stay “the most screwed over minority” and the immigrants who segregate themselves so as not to be confused with native-born blacks is an old and hard issue that will not go away easily.Layer 3 – Church vs. Cynics
Many of us grew up in the black church only to leave and become cynical. I won’t get into the reasoning for this (there’s a full article on it for those who need clarification). The cynics will never agree with those who quote scripture because they do not respect their stance on anything.Layer 4 – Racially Scarred vs. Racially Ambiguous
When you grew up being called a nigger and being denied based on your color it is a different world than growing up where everyone is cordial and the “n-word” is something you hear about versus actually hearing it. One says “Don’t trust them” and the other says “Get over it!” Each thinks the other is hopeless.Layer 5 – Light vs. Dark
Every culture of color has had this issue it seems. The light is right attitude of our ancestors has left a nasty and bitter taste in some of our mouths but sadly many black people still follow it.Layer 6 – Huey vs. Uncle Ruckus
Uncle Ruckus hates his blackness and hates everything to do with it. Huey loves the skin he’s in and cannot fathom how a black man could hate himself. Like their namesakes from Aaron McGruder’s “Boondocks” there are many who cannot see eye to eye when it comes to blackness.Layer 7 – Men vs. Women
Many of us are in great relationships with black men/women but sadly enough, we don’t talk about that them as much as we talk about the jerks (guilty) from our past. Men are stereotyped as uneducated jailbirds and women as bitchy co-eds, the Cosby dynamic being laughably inaccurate.So will black people ever “unify” and appear as together as our fellow minorities? I don’t think so and after seeing the 7 layers that we would have to overcome, you can understand why.
Layer 8- LGBTQ vs. Straight
From the “Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve” adage to notable figures such as Audre Lorde and Bayard Rustin, the black community is continuously divided between “us and them” in a whole new way. In conversations like these, people have continuously overlooked the presence of black queer people; from the raging debates over “Gay is the New Black” online postings to the (non) existence of out queer black celebrities (other than Wanda Sykes), black people have been divided amongst the issue of acceptance, acknowledgement, and embracing our queer black “brothers” and “sisters”.
True unity will come when we are able to accept each other across these “division lines” because they exist, not in spite of them. Difference is what makes us all beautiful, it shouldn’t have to divide us when it could unite us.
-Luna
- The majority of black communities are based around God, and although many Christians don’t live the way they are supposed to, they generally aren’t very accepting to openly sinful life. Therefore, there were never be a day when all of Black America will accept homosexuals. Just as liars, cheaters, thieves, and child molesters are not accepted. Sorry.
Dignifying this with a response would require me to expend positive intellectual energy that you just do not deserve, nor seem prepared for. Until then, I will actually pray for you.
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LOVE & MARRIAGE: IT’S 2011: QUIT WAITING FOR MEN TO APPROACH YOU FIRST
My mama is old-school with her courtship expectations. If ever a dude wanted to get on, he had to pursue and properly court her before anything jumped off.
Yet sometime in the mid-aughts, shortly after the death of my grandmother, she decided to go against the grain of convention and semi-court her ballroom dance teacher. It was the first time in her more than 50 years of life that she’d approached anyone on her own volition. It all worked out and they’re now happily married.
I realize this was a stretch for her considering her generational ideals, but I’m blown that, in 2011, many American women are still yoked to the antiquated tradition of waiting for dudes to pursue them. Even women who consider themselves otherwise “liberated” and dependent in any sense scoff at the idea that they would have to ask a n*gga for his digits.
The dumbest thing I’ve heard a woman say is, “Well, I always look his way and he never approaches me…he must not be interested.” Think about it: many of you have been with men whom you may have seen or known but didn’t consider in the romantic perspective until they stepped to you.
Since men are clueless, confused, no-attention-paying bastards by design, you should never assume that we know what you want without telling us unless we’re deep in a relationship with you already. Unless you whip out a breast and slap us in the temple with it, assume our obliviousness.
As wacky as approaching a man in a bar might sound, give it some consideration because we appreciate the initiative. I’ll bet any man who doesn’t is probably of the traditional variety, which means that you’d better not even think of doing anything “hifalutin’” like working to support the household or keeping your last name after marriage.
I’ve always been quite receptive to the women who have either approached me or made it clear with no ambiguity that they are interested in me, even if the feeling wasn’t mutual. I never liked calling/emailing/texting someone on a consistent basis only to find that they wanted me as a “new friend.” Even when I wasn’t grown I was too grown for that sh*t.
It’s 2011: even if you’re fine as frog legs and the world knows it, you might have to put forth a little work to attract a man who has many other options. Besides, if you go about it the right way, you may value your man more than if he just fell into your lap.
June 17th, 2011 - By The Manifesto
http://madamenoire.com/57435/its-2011-quit-waiting-for-men-to-approach-you-first/
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